Losing My Mind

Today was not a good day. I had an appointment with my attorney and discovered that we were not as far along as I thought we were in the 501c3 process. It was a real disappointment to discover. The worst thing about the appointment was that after I left, I realized how much I have changed.

This was a business appointment. The old "business Diane" was a tough cookie. I handled it well and I was clear with communicating my disappointment in a professional way. However, I needed to get out of the office fast because I was going to cry.

The old Diane would not have been close to crying over something like that. The old Diane learned to keep a stiff upper lip during business interactions at all times. I got out to the car and completely lost it.

Vince helped me realize that I did not care about cell phone development quite as much as I care about Striving for More and perhaps that is why it is so much harder to stay calm in this new business. But I would really like to get better at this. It is important to me that I can be a professional because this is a business too. The attorney called me this afternoon and handled the situation very well. I am content with the way the situation is moving forward for now.

Now, onto another subject. We are leaving for vacation in the morning. As you know from a previous blog, I was struggling with going on the cruise. Since that blog, I had decided to take a less expensive road trip to Florida instead. I was able to find a loop hole that would let me use the insurance and cancel the cruise with the trip cancellation policy.

I felt pretty good about the decision until about 6pm tonight when I felt like I started losing my mind. In retrospect, I think that what I was going to do with the cruise was not the most honest thing and I was feeling guilty and confused. So, I decided to change my mind again and do the right thing and not cancel the cruise but go on it. I realized that Vince really must love me a lot because when I dumped it on Vince out of the blue, he wasn't the least bit upset with me.

So, we have been crazy packing differently all evening getting ready for the cruise and we will leave in the morning. Thankfully, I am feeling content again. The pieces of my mind are starting to settle back down into their appropriate positions.

Please pray for us as we spend a week together on the Norwegian Majesty cruising to Florida and the Bahamas. Please pray that we don't have too much anxiety over how much all of the extras cost and the fact that Vince's job is still... well, still Nortel. And if I could ask that you pray that we get some extra sun and warmth, I would love that!

Tonight, I am especially thankful that I have a friend that I can call when I am hysterical, tell her that I am losing my mind and she makes me realize that maybe I'm not.