It's Official ~ Striving for More is a Tax Exempt Non Profit

It's official. We have been declared a tax exempt organization by the IRS. Therefore, all donations to Striving for More are now tax deductible!

I can hardly believe it. The IRS quotes a minimum processing time of 60 days to issue 501(c)3 certificates. The IRS acknowledged receipt of our application on 2/23 and granted our tax exempt status on 3/19.

Vince and I took the day off on Monday to spend it together for his birthday. We arrived home after having lunch and seeing a movie. I was glancing through the mail and my eye caught sight of a letter from the IRS. Typically this would make people worried. Not me... it was addressed to Striving for More. I actually wasn't thinking that it was my acceptance. How could it be? I had carefully calculated it and the earliest that I would be granted non profit tax exemption status was 4/23 and that was being optimistic. If the IRS meant 60 business days, it would be longer than that. My attorney warned me that it could be 6-9 months, perhaps even a year before I heard.

For some reason, I took the extra seconds to find the letter opener, not wanting to tear what could be one of the most important envelopes I have ever been sent. I unfolded the letter and read it slowly. I couldn't believe it. I started screaming and jumping up and down (literally). I was hollering to Vince and Mackenna and jumping around the room. I haven't jumped around like that since I was about 10. I hugged Vince and screamed again. This time right into the poor man's ear. Mackenna picked up the letter and read it, not understanding what all the fuss was about. I explained it to her and told her that except for the day that I married her Dad and the days that I gave birth to her and Colleen, this was the happiest day of my life.

That night, while we were all at our grief group, I told the other family members about my day. Through tears, I told them that the event was even better because for a long time, I didn't think it was even possible for me to be happy again, without Colleen. Let alone to declare that March 23rd, the day that I was told that Striving for More is officially a tax exempt non profit organization, was one of the happiest days of my life.

It only took the IRS 14 business days to issue a tax exemption certificate to Striving for More, Inc. Another sign that this is the work that I am supposed to be doing. I am so thankful for the continued affirmation. Thank you God.

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Closer and Closer to a Federal Non Profit...

I worked all afternoon today with my attorney on the IRS 1023 form. That is the form that you need to submit to the IRS in order to obtain your 501(c)3 status which means that you are an official non profit charitable organization in the eyes of the federal government. It is a brutal form and they review it very carefully. It is over 28 pages long and with the written attachments it ends up being more than 50 pages of submissions. I still have a bit of homework to do but we are closing in fast.

I received my Employee Identification Number from the IRS today. That is the number that is equivalent to a social security number for businesses so I can open a bank account and do a lot of the things that I have been waiting to do regarding the business so I am excited about that.

Next Wednesday, I have my first Board Meeting. I have to complete all of the outstanding work for the 1023 and have the bylaws signed by the board members on Wednesdays. Then I can have the attorney submit the 1023 on Thursday. It is an exciting milestone. However, then the wait will begin. And it could be a long wait. Some say 3 months, some say 6 months, some say as long as a year. Obviously, I pray that it is as quick as possible.

Colleen died 8 months ago today. It doesn't seem like it has been that long.

We took Mackenna to the first of an 8 week grief children's grief group hosted by Hospice of Wake County. They serve a light dinner and spend a half an hour with the parent and the children and then they split the kids and the parents into groups. There are three groups (teens, kids 6-12 and parents). It was a good mix. I was glad to hear that there was glad to hear that there were two other kids there that had lost siblings (I know glad sounds bad but I hope by now you all know what I mean). Mackenna did not feel like she needed to go but on the way home she said that she was glad she went. The session for adults was rough on Vince and I. It is hard to sit around and listen to the stories other people's loss which is what the nights of introduction are usually like. Mackenna realized tonight that Colleen died on her "half birthday". That was sort of a bummer of a reality for her. Since her birthday is around Christmas she always appreciated recognizing her "half birthday" even though we never actually celebrated it with anything.

Need to sign off, I have class at Duke all day tomorrow... "Board Management for Non Profits".

By the way, I have decided that I am going to dye/bleach my hair some crazy color to create a stir before the shave. So if you know of a stylist in the area that is willing to do this for me for free in the next week as a way of contributing to the cause, I would love a referral (I believe it will help me raise more money for St. Baldrick's and also allow me to talk more about Striving for More).

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Losing My Mind

Today was not a good day. I had an appointment with my attorney and discovered that we were not as far along as I thought we were in the 501c3 process. It was a real disappointment to discover. The worst thing about the appointment was that after I left, I realized how much I have changed.

This was a business appointment. The old "business Diane" was a tough cookie. I handled it well and I was clear with communicating my disappointment in a professional way. However, I needed to get out of the office fast because I was going to cry.

The old Diane would not have been close to crying over something like that. The old Diane learned to keep a stiff upper lip during business interactions at all times. I got out to the car and completely lost it.

Vince helped me realize that I did not care about cell phone development quite as much as I care about Striving for More and perhaps that is why it is so much harder to stay calm in this new business. But I would really like to get better at this. It is important to me that I can be a professional because this is a business too. The attorney called me this afternoon and handled the situation very well. I am content with the way the situation is moving forward for now.

Now, onto another subject. We are leaving for vacation in the morning. As you know from a previous blog, I was struggling with going on the cruise. Since that blog, I had decided to take a less expensive road trip to Florida instead. I was able to find a loop hole that would let me use the insurance and cancel the cruise with the trip cancellation policy.

I felt pretty good about the decision until about 6pm tonight when I felt like I started losing my mind. In retrospect, I think that what I was going to do with the cruise was not the most honest thing and I was feeling guilty and confused. So, I decided to change my mind again and do the right thing and not cancel the cruise but go on it. I realized that Vince really must love me a lot because when I dumped it on Vince out of the blue, he wasn't the least bit upset with me.

So, we have been crazy packing differently all evening getting ready for the cruise and we will leave in the morning. Thankfully, I am feeling content again. The pieces of my mind are starting to settle back down into their appropriate positions.

Please pray for us as we spend a week together on the Norwegian Majesty cruising to Florida and the Bahamas. Please pray that we don't have too much anxiety over how much all of the extras cost and the fact that Vince's job is still... well, still Nortel. And if I could ask that you pray that we get some extra sun and warmth, I would love that!

Tonight, I am especially thankful that I have a friend that I can call when I am hysterical, tell her that I am losing my mind and she makes me realize that maybe I'm not.

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I know I should be happier... But.

Things are moving along. Actually much faster than most of the people that are new to how I work expected them to go.

As most of you know, Striving for More, Inc was incorporated on 1/8/2009. I have been working with my attorney to review the By laws for the Board and the we are working on preparing the 1023 document which is this long form that you have to submit to the IRS to get your 501c3 (non profit tax exempt status). My attorney warned me that it could take up to 6 months from the time of submission to get the tax exempt status approved. However, he reiterated that, as long as it is approved, the tax exempt status will be retroactive so I can begin fund raising as long as I am clear regarding the status.

I have scheduled our first Board Meeting, I will be attending my first Duke class tomorrow. I spent several hours in the Non Profit Resource center at the library yesterday looking up seed grants for non profits and taking out books on fund raising and grant writing. I spend every free moment I have in the car listening to Craig's List Foundation Non Profit Boot Camp blogs. (they are awesome). I am learning so much and it is very interesting. I am actually retaining it. I have interesting things to say when in the company of others. That is nice for a change.

All of this should be good, right? So why am I so depressed?

I have spent a lot of time thinking and crying about Colleen in the last week. I miss her tremendously. The gaping whole seems so big right now for some reason. My memories are being triggered very easily. At first, I wasn't quite sure why. Then, last night, when I was crying on Vince's shoulder it occurred to me that perhaps it was because I started going to a new Grief Group last week. A pretty intense grief group, one that is provided free by the local hospice and it challenges you to explore your feelings. Perhaps I hadn't really gone through all of the steps, perhaps I hadn't really felt was I was supposed to feel. Perhaps I am not as ok as I thought I was.

Yesterday was my second week. Last week was primarily introductions. This week we were given Task 1 of 4. Task 1 - Accept the reality of the loss. The second bullet under this task plunged through my heart like a knife. It said "This task involves recognizing that the person is dead and will never return." Now of course I knew that but to read it and really begin to think about it and mentally process it is two different things. It is something that you have to experience to really understand.

On top of all this, Nortel announced that it filed Chapter 11. Vince has worked there for more than 11 years. What more are we going to have to go through?

We can use some prayers this week. Prayers for me to stay strong. Prayers of comfort for Vince and I. Prayers for us to remain steadfast and to remember that God will provide as we put each foot in front of the other.

I just really don't want to be broken down any further than we already are.

Just because it appears that I am doing well on the outside, doesn't mean that I am doing well. I loved something the therapist said yesterday at grief group. "it's just a little mascara... it isn't world peace!"

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